The Style Invitational Week 853 Its easy as DEF --
create a new word with a series of letters
Saturday, January 23, 2010; C02
McDeath: The new Bacon Half Pounder with
Cheese
There's a full moon out
there, which means it's time for yet another neologism contest, this one
suggested by Amazing Rookie Loser Craig Dykstra (with his own example). This
week: Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three
successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet,
not backward.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a cute little
solar-powered Dancing Cactus, donated by Rick Haynes of Potomac.
"Dancing" is a bit of a stretch, but put it on a sunny windowsill and
it will move and wave its arms at you. It is also as smooth-skinned as a, um,
as a non-cactus.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser
Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener"
(Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your
entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, Feb. 1. Put "Week 853" in the subject line of your e-mail, or
it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone
number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and
originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries
may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Feb. 20. No
purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their
immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be
disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Tom Witte; this
week's honorable-mentions subhead was submitted by both Pete Morelewicz and
Kevin Dopart.
Report From Week 849, in which we asked you to create new homonyms -- words spelled
differently from, but pronounced the same as, existing words. While academics
tend to use "homophones" to describe these words, we went along with
the permissive definition of "homonym" in The Post's dictionary. So
just relax and enjoy, huffy people.
The Winner of the Inker
Glock-n-Spiel: Common
action-movie scene in which the villain has a gun aimed at the hero's head, but
rather than just pulling the trigger, he delivers a long victory speech about
his superiority, which proves fatally wrong seconds later. (Christopher Lamora,
Arlington)
2. winner of the
pantyhose-faced see/hear/speak-no-evil soft sculpture: Ho-maid: The role of a
traditional wife. (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)
3. Hi-deaf TV: Commercials.
(Steve Offutt, Arlington)
4. S-cargo: Snail mail. (Don
Hauptman, New York, a First Offender)
Homophoning it in: Honorable mentions
Adhear: A jingle that gets
stuck in your head. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
Altarnates: Mistresses.
(Sneha Kannan, Cambridge, Mass.)
Fundrazer: Bernie Madoff.
(Russ Taylor, Vienna)
Untennable: Listen, no amount
of plastic surgery is going to turn you into Angelina Jolie. (Michelle Stupak,
Ellicott City)
Newsances: Tweets. (Kevin
Dopart, Washington)
Buyou: The source of
Louisiana political success. (Kevin Dopart)
Blahg: An online chronicle
about scrapbooking and kittens. (Kevin Dopart)
Brewedmare: Where a
Clydesdale comes from. (Russ Taylor)
Eyesickle: The coldest of
stares. (Michelle Stupak)
Jungster: A freshman psych
major. (Pete Morelewicz, Washington)
Webcaste: The new elite in
Bangelore. (Russ Taylor)
Peteat: Small-busted. (Tom
Witte, Montgomery Village)
Ouizel: A devious Frenchman.
(Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)
Demanned: Unstaffed. (Kevin
Dopart)
Assistense: Your
mother-in-law's visit to "help out" with your new baby. (Lois
Douthitt, Arlington)
Herpeas: The result of
sharing the wrong pod. (Craig Dykstra)
Expyre: An old flame. (John
O'Byrne, Dublin)
Dictater: Mister Head Potato.
(Tom Witte)
Aquaducked:
Waterboarded (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Epidermiss: A centerfold.
(Craig Dykstra)
Whacks eloquent: Kills softly
with his song. (Craig Dykstra)
Suckcess: A Pyrrhic victory.
(Tom Witte)
Manshun: A convent (also
known as a virginn). (Tom Witte)
Fourplay: (1) Tiger Woods and
three hackers. (2) Tiger Woods and three hookers. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)
Habitchuation:
Chronic complaining. (Chris Doyle)
Sacks: A clothing store in
the alley off Fifth Avenue. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)
Whizdom: Successful potty
training. (Bob Dalton, Arlington)
Moetivate: To inspire others
to action by twisting their noses, yanking their hair and knocking their heads
together. (Marbury Wethered, Greenbelt; Kevin Dopart)
Whorenet: A prostitution
sting. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
Maehem: What transpired after
the invitation to "come up and see me sometime." (Mae Scanlan,
Washington)
Dudey: Extremely limited
social responsibility, such as turning away from others while belching. (Kevin
Jamison, Gaithersburg)
Jeanealogy: The history of
one's physique as reflected in choice of pants, from paint-on hip-huggers to
dad-slacks. (Dion Black, Washington)
Foursight: Absentmindedly
putting on glasses when you're already wearing contacts. (David Kleinbard,
Jersey City)
Pleisto-scene: Happy hour at
the senior center. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)
Robbury: The costs hidden in
a 2,000-page health care bill. (Jim Noble, Lexington Park)
Diet-titian: The Italian
painter famous for his skinny nudes. (Barbara Turner)
Beau tie: The short leash you
keep your man on. (Cheryl Davis, Arlington)
Boomeringue: The results of
cooking egg whites in the microwave. (Craig Dykstra)
Musturd: Baby poo. (Craig
Dykstra)
Prophet-sharing: Bible study.
(Beverley Sharp, Washington)
Bootie call: What you might
get nine months after a booty call. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)
Egg yoke: Umbilical cord.
(Beverley Sharp)
Boredello: A cathouse where
everyone looks and acts exactly like your wife. (Dion Black)
Next Week: Dead Letters, or The Year in Adieu